Mum's Eulogy for Ellie

Hi Everybody and thank you for being here today to help celebrate the life of Ellie

You may be wondering how I, her mum, can stand here and make a speech on such a difficult day?

So I would like to relate to you a couple of stories in explanation;

The first is about when we were in Whistler and we had to help Dylan pack up the apartment that he and Ellie shared together. It is not something most people have to address so soon after a death.  However we had no choice.  When we arrived I needed to use the bathroom. But when I went in there the first thing I noticed was all Ellie’s open make up bag,  as if she had just walked out the door and would be returning any minute from now.  The pain from the realisation that she would never be returning was so great that I just broke down and cried uncontrollably.  Claire tried to comfort me and Robert said I should go back to the hotel and they would do the packing. Then suddenly, as if jolted by something, I simply stopped crying and got back into action. I feel quite sure it was Ellie telling me to lose the self-pity and just get on with it.

The second story is from when we arrived in Whistler. I was reading an article in the local newspaper about Ellie.  It said something like ‘Woman, 24, killed in road accident”  My first thought was ‘ Oh Thank goodness - this nightmare is all a big mistake- this is not my Ellie they are writing about - it is some 24 year old woman  - not my my baby daughter.  Then I realised of course that it was  Ellie. And  in fact she was a woman - a mature, bright, happy, thoughtful, intelligent, caring person.  But most of all, Ellie was a fiercely independent and self sufficient young woman.

And she would have EXPECTED her mum to get out of her comfort zone and speak to you today...

Right now my heart is broken and aches interminably. The question that goes over and over in my mind is - ‘Why?’  - Why me? Why us? Why our daughter?, What did we do to deserve this?  But then I see all my family and friends here today and I cant think of any one of you that doesnt cherish your children as much as we do. 

And I ask myself   ‘would I wish this pain on any one of you?’  And the simple answer is ‘no’ I would not. 

Many of you here  already know what sort of person Ellie was, and if not you will hear it from others today who will speak of her. So instead, I would like to tell you what I am thankful for.......

I am simply thankful that Ellie was born.  Her arrival in my life made me realise that love was like the universe and stars; it stretches to infinity.

I am thankful for all the memories I have of her;

The memory of the way, as a baby, her hair stuck straight up from her head like one of the characters in her favorite ‘Fraggle Rock’ cartoon.

The memory of her delight in coming a long second in a two person swimming race in primary school.

The memory of the complete awe she inspired in all the boys when she transformed from an MLC uniformed plain jane into a beautiful swan on the night of her first ball.

So many wonderful memories to be thankful for; too many  to be listed here today....

And I am thankful for the pride I felt when she graduated from university, worked and saved hard, travelled the world, and lived every moment to the fullest .  Ellie packed more into her short 24 years than some do in a life time.

I am thankful for the shared shoe fetish that kept she and I gossiping, and for lunchtimes we shared when I listened to her whinge about some boss or other that drove her crazy because he or she was so dumb.

I am thankful for the diaries she left, which have given me an insight into her inner thoughts and soul.  Reading them makes me feel like she is speaking to me from her heart.

I am even thankful for Facebook, even if she did accuse me of spying one her,  that allowed me to see another side of Ellie,  the fun-loving side of her, other than the so often serious, sensible, hardworking, and very busy person we saw at home.

And I am thankful that every time I spoke with her on the phone, or wrote to her by email, I told her I loved her and missed her, and she told me she loved and missed me too. 

So many things to be thankful for:  too numerous to list here today.

Of course there will be so many things I will miss now that Ellie is gone:

I shall miss all her handy skills. Ellie was the only member of the family who could fix the clocks on appliances and electronic devices and coded suitcase locks.

I will miss her admonishing me every time I did something that annoyed her; and blaming me for her long skinny feet and every other physical attribute that she didn’t like about herself.

I shall miss seeing her get married. I shall miss her future children; my future grandchildren. Never will my Lulu be ‘danced to the children waiting to be born’ (Leonard Cohen).

I shall miss the joy and happiness she brought to my life.

But most of all I will miss her loving personality, her upturned smile, her crazy happy laugh, and her hugs.

I will never stop missing her...  My Eleanor, whose name means; ray of sun, shining light...

Finally,  I would like to mention a comment from her nana, and I quote  

‘Think of Ellie now as a beautiful angel in Heaven, making all the others envy her’.  

But this is what I think.  I think she has already totally re-organised heaven, given all the angels job descriptions, made to do lists, and delegated all the jobs.  Then, in her designer shoes, she has marched right up to the sun god in his chariot and said ‘Move over Apollo, I am BOSS in heaven now.

And from now on every time I feel the sun on my face I will remember her love and feel  her warm hugs and I will miss her all over again.......

and now we will play the song that will forever remind me of my LuLu and if you know the words please feel free to sing along....

SONG:  ‘I can see clearly now the rain is gone'..  Jimmy Cliff